Can I Compete Again After 8 Years? My Journey Back to Swimming Begins at H2OMAN

After eight years away from competitive swimming, I'm finally giving myself another shot. But this time, I'm learning that finishing happy might mean more than finishing first.

Eight years ago, swimming was practically my entire life. Training was crazy. It was taxing in everything: time, energy, and discipline. I trained for six hours a day while making sure I could keep up with everything else. You had to constantly push yourself and make sure you didn't fail, because if you did, swimming would be blamed.

But it was also one of the best chapters of my life. My proudest moment was winning my first UAAP gold medal in the 50-meter backstroke, while my biggest achievement was becoming part of the national water polo team. Then I graduated from college. I was supposed to continue swimming during my master's degree, but life happened. Eventually, the pandemic solidified my decision to stop.

And now, eight years later, I want to compete again.

Physically, I'm so much weaker than I used to be. Swimming 500 meters without fins feels almost impossible sometimes. Mentally, it's even harder. Before, my biggest struggle was pushing myself during training. Now, sometimes, just starting a workout is already a challenge. Emotionally? There's guilt. Why did I stop? Why did I let myself get to this point? Why is everything so much harder now?

I'm still the same competitive person I used to be, but it's difficult to be competitive when you can't even start competing. And that's been one of the hardest things to deal with mentally. But I've actually been doing well with fitness these past few months. I've been running, biking, and even swimming again.

So I thought, why not give myself something to work toward?

I wanted to join a competition, H2OMAN Aquathlon, where swimming could give me a little edge (hopefully, hahaha), while also challenging myself to run farther than my usual 3 kilometers.

Why H2OMAN? My honest answer is because it's a vacation disguised as a competition. H2OMAN Family Adventure Weekend is happening on January 16–17, 2027, at Pico de Loro in Nasugbu, Batangas. And I figured that if I keep reminding myself I get to relax and enjoy a vacation after competing, maybe I'll enjoy the whole experience even more. Hahaha!

I'm still deciding which aquathlon distance to join. I'm considering the shorter swim option or challenging myself with 500 meters of swimming and a 4-kilometer run, depending on the final race distances. I'm leaning toward the longer one. Right now, with fins, I can swim up to around 3.5 kilometers in an hour while my current personal best for a 3-kilometer run/walk is 34 minutes. Hahaha!

I definitely need to improve my swimming because swimming with fins and without fins are two completely different things. I also need to work on my balance and overall endurance. But what scares me most isn't necessarily losing. It's not being ready. Of course, I'm still hoping to win. I'm competitive, after all. But we'll see!

I think the biggest difference between the athlete I was eight years ago and the person I am today is how I define success. Before, I could finish first and still be sad because I didn't break a record or achieve the time I wanted. Now, I just want to finish happy. That's it.

I want to look back at the competition and feel genuinely proud of myself, regardless of my placement. And thankfully, I won't be doing this alone. Elijah will be there, Alnair will also be competing with his friends, and I might bring along my sisters and other friends depending on their schedules. My parents will also be supporting me throughout this journey. My dad will be helping me with swimming training again, while my mom will be there for moral support.

So, can I really compete again? I don't know yet. But I do know that the hardest part is showing up. For the longest time, I kept telling myself that I had nothing left to prove. I was one of the best. I had my medals, my achievements, my years of competitive swimming. Yada, yada, yada. But now I'm realizing that I still have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

And if there's one thing I'd tell former athletes who are scared to start again, it's this: just show up. It's truly the hardest part. I don't know if I'll win. I don't even know how well I'll perform. But I'm confident that if I keep showing up, I'll eventually get there.

So here's to my journey back to competing, starting with H2OMAN at Pico de Loro in January 2027. Eight years later, let's see what happens.