What to Do When Someone Body Shames You

Unfortunately for society, I gained weight.

Significant weight. And apparently, that made a lot of people uncomfortable. Especially the ones who knew me before. Suddenly, every reunion came with distant aunts and uncles who thought they could talk to me about my body like it was public property.

Here’s the thing they don’t understand. 

I already know.

Photo by Karola G: from Pexels

Of course I look different. Of course I know people look at me differently now. Of course I know what they’re thinking. So why do you have to point it out? What good does it do? You insult someone, get a laugh, and that’s it? After putting someone down? That’s why I believe this: you allow whatever you tolerate. And no one is allowed to make you feel little.

So I started talking back, because there's really no reason to body shame.

I don’t care if they’re older. I don’t care if it hurts their ego. Apparently, it’s worse to defend yourself than to be the one doing the insulting. Funny how that works. I say, let them feel bad. Make them uncomfortable. Make your feelings known, whether it’s hurt or anger. Because if these older people don’t understand that they hurt people, they will never stop.

There’s a pro tip I live by: don’t point something out if the person can’t change it in ten seconds. If they can’t fix it immediately, they already know. Saying it out loud isn’t helpful. It’s just cruel.

And to be honest, I already know everything they’re going to say. That’s what they don’t get. I don’t need reminders. I don’t need commentary. I don’t need “concern” disguised as jokes.

So if I have to be the person who talks back, so be it. At least next time, they think twice. At least the next time they’re about to comment on someone’s body, they pause.

There’s a saying about respect. But respect isn’t staying quiet while someone hurts you. Respect goes both ways.

So please. If you don’t have anything nice to say, stop. And if your joke is at the expense of someone else, don’t do it.